outdoor performance
Westlake Park - downtown Seattle
September 11 2010
I am in heaven now.
I no longer feel the cold.
There was no place inside at night.
The shelters were full. The emergency shelters too.
My seat in a doorway was made of cement.
I had an old quilt but it wasn't enough.
I shivered and knew I should stay awake
but then the shivering stopped and I
could not remember anything I knew.
I tried to burrow inside my quilt
but my fingers no longer worked so well.
For a moment I felt very hot but then
I hardly felt anything at all. And then
there were no more questions to answer.
It took my body a long time to die.
If someone had found me they might have been able
to revive me. But nobody found me till morning.
And now no heat nor cold can reach me.
I wander freely, no hunger, no pain.
I hover near my outdoor friends.
I try to whisper them words
of comfort and encouragement.
I think they hear me sometimes. I hope so.
Heaven is nice but still I tell them
don't go to sleep in the cold. Stay awake.
Living is beautiful, in its way.
Sometimes one of them falls asleep
in the cold, too cold, they won't wake up
unless they get help. I lie down with them
and wrap myself around their body.
I clutch at their body and give them all
my warmth, all the warmth I have,
but that is nothing. I have no warmth.
No heat nor cold can touch me now.
The only warmth in the world I can feel
is the heat that leaves a freezing body
and passes through me and I
am unable to stop it.
Nothing I do.
Nothing I do.
Nothing I do.
Nothing I do.
Their warmth goes away.
And they go to a heaven someplace
made of ice
like mine
where they never sleep
like me
never sleep
never sleep
always awake
and saying words
of comfort if we can
wherever we can
and waiting always
awake and waiting
for the next heaven of ice to appear.